Coach Beiste and Will recover from an all-nighter.
Am I still hungover from last night’s Gleetacular blowout? Or was this in fact another song-lite yet story-strong Glee
episode with a whole lot o’ plot?
I think it was. In fact, I know it was. At least, that’s what’s filtering through my befogged mind, clouded as it is by a delirium of on-screen slurping of suds and partying with buds.
From Figgins to Sue to Will to New Directions, Glee’s universal obsession with spirits was all too sudden, of course, done at the service of a “theme” plot along the lines of too many preachy, mantra-manic Season One episodes. But dang if it all didn’t work, including related subplots involving Blaine’s doubts (after a drunken kiss with Rachel) about his gayness, and Rachel’s inability to become the next Carole King (look her up, kids — one of the biggest singer-songwriters in pop history) without having had wrenching life experiences. (What about breaking up with Finn?)
As I warned last week, just because Rachel can belt with the best doesn’t mean she can compose like Joni Mitchell. But oh, how I want a copy of My Headband anyway. I stand by my gal: She can sing the phone book.
Kurt, as usual, behaved like a selfish, petulant brat, feeling entitled to say and do anything because he’s been bullied and hasn’t yet found a boyfriend. Get over it — please. I love the character, and I want him to be happy, but I’m tired of his disappointments impacting everyone else with his obnoxious, self-obsessed behavior. Kurt, your dad has a point about sexual sleepovers under his roof, gay or straight, and how soon you forget how understanding he’s been.
But mostly the preaching was about alcohol — or was it? Songs like the slick and handsomely dark-lit Blame It and the vigorous Brittany dance showcase Tik Tok (I’d been waiting for that split for a season and a half) seemed to glamorize impetuous imbibing. Yes, they were fun, bold, enlivening songs — but could “isn’t it cool to drink?” be the message we want Glee to send?
Of course not, which is why I knew this binge-till-we-cringe episode would wind up in catastrophe.
Luckily, the onstage puke-o-rama at show’s end (achieved via hidden spewing devices) wasn’t the chain-reaction barf barrage I’d imagined after hearing a rumor of this and recalling Stand By Me’s pie-eating scene, or the projectile-vomit volcano of Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (or The Exorcist, for that matter). And gray paint (which is what it looked like) wasn’t gonna make me toss my Oreos in a sympathetic upchuck.
But the real payoff, or payback, was Will’s drunken and illicit phone message to Emma — mistakenly sent to Sue — getting played on the McKinley PA system. This was about as bad as it gets. Now that’s paying a price for drunken indulgence. It sure sobered up Will, who may never be able to look Emma straight in the face again. (Hope Carl doesn’t hear about this.)
Of course, alcohol’s true price — biggest price — must include the annual 13,000 traffic fatalities and countless injuries in this country due to drunk drivers. Did you know that since 1982, drunks have killed more people in America than have all our foreign enemies in all wars since and including World War I? We have met the enemy, and it is our own drunk drivers. But that harsh message was skirted over with token talk about taxis, designated drivers and no one getting hurt. Sure, we got drunk, but no problem, right? A more cautionary example might have sealed the deal (a non-fatal car wreck in a car ride home, perhaps), but then, Glee is a comedy.
Rachel’s utter social ineptitude again was a hoot, and I love how Lea Michele, such a fine actress and allegedly the world’s biggest egotist, has no problem making fun of her character — and some would say, by extension, herself — in such silly, self-deprecating ways. Has anyone but me given Michele credit for this, or do we need to carp and harp about how she’s the star of the ensemble and expects to be treated that way? Hey, she gets the job done, right? And big-time. I’d sign her to a contract in a Lima minute. Professional-up, whiners.
Now we wait two weeks for a Sexy episode and the return of Holly and Carl, along with the first Prince song for Glee in Kiss. With alcohol this week’s theme and sex the topic next time, all we need are episodes on drugs and rock ‘n’ roll — or have we done that already?
I dunno. I’m still kinda fuzzy from all the guzzling and hurling last night.
But when it comes to Glee, I’m still ready to party.